Item for Sale: One Sexy, Sultry, Surgical Suspensory Bandage

Product title

ONE SURGICAL SUSPENSORY RECOVERY BANDAGE FOR YOUR BALLS – PROVIDES ‘COMFORT’ AND STABILITY

Product features

• Item: Surgical suspensory bandage
• Quantity: 1
• Size: XX large 65a
• Type: 3
• Material: 95% cotton
• Condition: Used
• Manufacturer: Sallis Healthcare
• Origin: Nottingham, England

Product purpose

This surgical suspensory bandage is typically used in medical settings, particularly after testicular cancer surgery, to provide support and stability to your scrotum during recovery.

The purpose of this type of bandage is to:

• Provide postoperative care
• Support and immobilise
• Prevent swelling
• Provide comfort and pain relief
• Position your nuts properly
• Protect the wound

Product description

This sexy piece of ball-strangle-wear is exactly as uncomfortable as it looks! With a peephole for your penis and an adjustable waist strap, you will look absolutely ridiculous whilst your balls are propped up by this itchy, sweat-catching garment that is bound to drive you around the bend. It’s like your nuts have their own hammock! If you like feeling restricted, prickly and irritated then look no further – and going to the toilet will never be the same again! You can combine this sling with a tight fitting thong for increased strangulation and heightened discomfort. It’s the budgie-smuggling spectacle you’ve been searching for!

Reason for selling

Fully recovered from testicular cancer and no longer need the sling! Great news! Considering this is for your balls, it doesn’t half get on your chest! So I have no desire to keep it. Imagine a white, lacey thong but with no undercarriage. You just have the strap around the waist to hold it in place, and then the compartment for your balls.

This bandage may be necessary for your recovery if you have had testicular cancer surgery, as it ensures you heal properly and everything is in the right place. However, after a few days wearing a net curtain nappy and feeling like a perverted sex pest, I am now more than willing to part ways with it!

Product cost

I am of course joking! I am not selling this – and it would be disgustingly wrong to do so! If you have had the pleasure of experiencing this, I can guarantee that you can’t wait to throw it in the bin! And I don’t blame you!

However, if you are currently recovering from testicular cancer and already have one of these, or are due to be given one following surgery – it is really important that you stick with it! Following testicular cancer surgery your scrotum will be tender, sore and delicate. It’s not a good idea to just let them hang freely, as they need stability to recover properly.

So stick with it! It will be worth it! You may simply push back your recovery time if you do not use this bandage or follow the other instructions your oncologist or urologist gives you.

And don’t think about selling it afterwards! No one wants it! Trust me, I’ve tried! Joking! Perhaps…

Ian Arnison-Phillps (BTUK Trustee)